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| I know I sound pathedic and everything, but I just wish that I could be the girl. You know what I'm talking about. That absolutely fawless girl. The girl whos gorgeous and has all the boyfriends and best friends. The one who is the life of the party and everyone loves her. Definitely not me. I feel like I'm just there. Like theres nothing special about me. I dunno. I just hate being single, you know? Like I feel like guys just aren't attracted to me. Well, at least not the ones I'm around 24/7. I mean how do girls get those perfect boyfriends. And stay with them! I feel like it's never gonna happen to me. I've had my share of relationships, but none of them have really lasted. They always end. One of them, I really regret letting go, but I refuse to get into that on right now... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be romanced. I want to wake up in the morning and feel excited to see that one person everyday. And know that there is someone out there who was truely made for you. I just wish that God would bless me with that gift one day. I mean my friends always tell me how pretty I am and how I'll find him one day, but when is that day ever gonna come? I've been dating since I was 13, when is Mr.Right gonna come and sweep me off my feet?? Sometimes I think they just say those things though. You know, cause they're my friends and all. But sometimes I wonder whats wrong with me. I'm so shy sometimes its hard for me to even talk to guys, but other times I'm so cool with them its like we're totally on the same level. I dunno. Ugh! God I'm so confused. I just want to be loved by someone other than my parents. I want someone to want me. Someone who thinks about me all the time and can't get enough of me! But, ha, thats never gonna happen... The guys who go for YOU are never the guys you would go for. Then again... there is one guy. He's so perfect I still can't believe he's real. He's sweet, funny (great sense of humor), gorgeous, and of course taken. Hugh! I would let him know, but I'm afraid. When you tell boys you like them it tend to scare them off. I just want him to notice me so bad though. Its all I think about... | | |
| I'm a bitch. And I'm totally ok with that. I myself can admit that. But there are somethings that are just so low. I've had my share of crushes. I've been the crushed and the crusher. I wear a heart on my sleeve and seem to let myself fall for a guy everytime. I know I should learn my lesson in the past relationships I've had with guys, but there is just something about a bad boy with a pretty face that just makes my completely forget where I placed my common sense. But those boys... They rope you in... and strangle you with it! Ugh! So anyway, I asked this guy to homecoming, right? He was a total babe. All the girls were dying to go with him. I felt so lucky. We are all set. I'm planning out the night. I'm thinking about the dress, the color, the shoes, the hair, I'm totally psyched. Until he calls me. The week before. To tell me he doesn't want to go anymore. I'm totally crushed. I go to my bff's to vent and it seems like the pain is never gonna die. But within minutes its all back to normal. But still. It kinda makes a girl wonder... What is it that we as girls do to ruin relationships? I mean have you ever genuinely wondered what you did in a relationship where he never called back? Or called at all? I may be overreacting over a silly little date, but I'm curious. Is it us that are in the wrong here or is it the men we choose? | | |
| I swear to my manager (lmfao, long story), I think I am falling head over heals. Once again, guys suck. They mess up.Then theres always that amazing one that comes along..and messes up even worse than the first one.I can't even complain.I'll admit,it hurts soooooo damn much when you get your heart crushed, but it feels so good when your falling. It almost seems worth it in a way. Tis a far far better thing to know what it was like then to never know at all. Bought the hottest ankle boots today.18dollars at PayLess, lmfao! First time I've had a "crush" crush since,hmmm,7th grade :). And believe me,I'm obsessed. He's so helpful.And cute.And I think his could shoulder just warmed up to me.. "Mama, don't worry, I'm not in a hurry.I wont disappoint you, I wont make you sorry.." "..We were ment to be, he's all I'll ever need..." "I know it's the real thing, if you don't, whatever," | | |
| Ever since I dropped the weight I've become a complete bombshell! I even got modeling offers! It's awsome as ever... Guys will forever suck! I can't believe I got played like I did. He never intended on breaking up with his girlfriend and he thought I was just some easy slut who wouldn't mind being the backburner bitch. No way! Eff that! I am no ones second choice. If you have to think about it then you don't want it. And now he wants me to feel bad for him. Eff him! I don't need him. He needed me. And he fucked it all up. I'm in a prom magazine! Yay me! Lol. Guys totally suck.Ew. School is going good. I've done a little acting. I love my new job! I work with the most adorable 16 year old boy! He's a couple months younger than me, but it doesn't totally freak me out. It's even a little hot, lol. We have ultimate chemistry to the MAX!!!! Lol. I needz to stop dating my co-workers... ...but they needz to stop being so cute.... ..... ..... ........... but who ever said I was gonna date him.... or wanted to for that matter? | | |
|   Back to school. It's accually alot better than I thought I'd be. Yeah, that nerd thing didn't work out. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can never hold onto a relationship. It sucks! I just wish that I could find someone. Some one I could fall head over heals for. I did once, but it's almost like I've had bad love carma or something. Since I broke someones heart am I forever destined to have my heart broken by fucking losers?! The new schools pretty cool. I like it. Nobody knows me here so I can be more than just Bree that girl I've known since 1st grade. I can't say if there's anyone I really like yet, b/c everytime I jump into something it always fails. But there is this guy in my Poli Sci. He's pretty cool, but... for once I am going to take it slow. I mean he asked me to homecoming, in his little way, but I'm not going to date the first guy I like, I'm going to give him the test & if he passes, I'll consider going to homecoming with him.  | | |
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